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Latest ATF News: 11/23/2023 - Two Renaissance festivals in Ames, Iowa?
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FESTIVAL SIGNAGE
by Willa, ATF Staff Writer

Presentation is a big deal for me. When I make a really good meal, I like to place it on the plate in an aesthetically pleasing way with garnishes. When I give gifts on holidays, you can bet that each present will have curly ribbons and colourful paper. Every time I write my best friend a letter, I make drawings of flowers up and down each side of the paper with swirlies galore. When I go to festival, I wear a snug bodice and a low-cut chemise with just the right amount of heavage.

Speaking of festivals, did you know that your first impression of a renaissance faire are the signs that you see directing you into the festivities? Have you ever been really excited about attending a faire that has been touted as a whole lot of fun with the best entertainment and food? When you hear that a festival has been around for a while, don't you expect them to be a bit better organized than, say, first year events? When you see the sign for a faire at the end of an interstate ramp after you've driven a considerable distance, don't you get tingles?

Well, I used to, too. A lot of things change when you attend a lot of different festivals back to back. You see details that you probably wouldn't have noticed before. And when you're really depending on those signs, wherever they may be located, it's a huge disappointment when they're...lacking.

I don't really mean to be a stickler, but when you see the photos of faire signs that we've accumulated, you'll better understand where this new peeve of mine has come from...

Thou art here...Let's start off with Renaissance Faire of the Midlands, which is a festival that has been going on since 1983. This is a big corporate event that has absolutely fantastic maps to point you in the right direction. They have funny signs along the traitorously long path from the entrance to the festival itself. They have gorgeous painted signs simply to tell you that no dogs are allowed on the fairegrounds. So why oh why can't they get their stage signs right?

As a new performer at this faire (and it being right across the river from my hometown), I was more than excited to be finally performing at this faire! I had my entire family come out (and pay for tickets) just to see me on stage. So, imagine my chagrin when three out of six performances had misspelled signs announcing our shows. Twice we were the Washer Well Winches and once we were the Well Washer Wenches. I might even be able to handle it and brush it off as it being some sort of sick and twisted initiation kind of thing, but they even misspelled an act that was on the big stage. The Dregs of Dublin swiftly became the Dergs. Wow.

Winches?? We're no longer ill, folks

Okay, moving on to our next festival, which was the Jubilee College Olde English Faire, which has been happening since 1990 (even though they tout themselves as being 29 years old). We showed up at this event after 3 hours on the road. There was no web site to get directions from, so we were basically winging it. When we found the park it was supposed to be held in, there were no signs anywhere. It wasn't until we were quite a few minutes into the park that we saw this:

So as not to be confused with the young English faire...

Yowza! After more than 10 years, they still haven't had any actual signs made? And they have accumulated no one on staff who can write in some sort of calligraphy? It was at this point when we almost just turned around and went back the 3 hours to home. Luckily, we didn't. It was a very fun faire once you got past the first four impressions:

  1. This sign.
  2. The carnival-esque ice cream stand resplendent with big lightbulbs surrounding the frame.
  3. The country music radio station that not only had a booth right next to a stage, but also was blasting their music out of big speakers.
  4. The fact that you could hear the joust from the parking lot because they were amplified and microphoned and turned up way too loud.

Okay, okay. Let's move on to another faire. We weren't able to attend the Hamlet of Missouri's festival that was held this year in Sedalia, Missouri, but we had a friend who attended, and when she reported her journeys, the first thing out of her mouth was the first impression she had of the faire based on the following sign:

Festavil?
Photo provided by Larisa the Loud...but at least she can spell.

We heard that the faire itself was quite a bit of fun, but just how is it that you can spell "renaissance" right and "festival" incorrectly? I also heard rumours (unsubstantiated that they are) that there was another sign that said "medieval village", but medieval was horribly misspelled. At least that time they picked a hard one to misspell.

A "Renn" AffaireMoving right along. Our next faire was a first year event, A Renaissance Affaire, which was held in Osceola, Iowa. I have to first and foremost give them credit for being the only non-corporate run event that we have attended this year that got professionally made signs for near the interstate. They looked great! And it wasn't until you got up close that you realized that these professionals had misspelled "renaissance". Unfortunately they didn't have time to redo them, so they were put up anyway. I have mixed emotions about this one. As a friend of ours posted on our message boards (located in The Pub section), "I personally am sorely tempted to head for Wal-Mart tonight for whiteout and a BIG chisel-point magic marker, so that tomorrow I can offer to go reletter some of their signs." I seconded that emotion for sure.

As if to make up for it, though, they had a huge slab of wood near the front gate that was roughly shaped like a shield and had the festival name burned into it, with everything spelled correctly!

Huzzah!

Since I'm ending this article on such a high and happy note, let me also add a few photos here of my absolute favourite faire signage. These were present at Wybreg Village Renaissance Faire in Bonaparte, Iowa, in fall of 2000. If you're going to be well-directioned, do it with humour! On one of the points, you'll find a sign that says, "England - A very long way". Another of the signs had no directional points. It was simply a rectangle that said, "You are here".

Privies to the right Bar to the left

Ahh yes. I am here. And if anyone wants any neato road signs for their faire, please contact me before you release the 10 year olds with markers. I have plenty of poster board...and I make nice swirlies.

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