I've been flirting at faire for over 6 years now. I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. But why is it that the men I flirt with are always so nice and the girls who attach themselves to JP are always so....scary?

DON'T STAND TOO CLOSE TO THE MAN IN THE FLOPPY
by Willa, ATF Staff Writer

NOTE: This article is written in a very humourous tone. It is not written about anyone specifically and all views are blown out of proportion...kind of. If you take any of this personally, that just means you have a guilty conscience and should probably rethink the way that you approach men at faire... ;)

Where on earth should I start with this article? First, let me say that the past five weekends have been an absolute blur for me. We have attended a different festival each weekend, too. That means lots of time in the car and not a lot of time spent at home. I'm about an inch away from burn out, so it's a good thing that I don't have any faires scheduled until September. We are going to try and make it up to Bristol for a weekend and to the Minnesota faire on the weekend that Shattock is up there, though. But those will be fun weekends without a care in the world (except for yelling really loud at Minnesota).

Now, in my past five weeks straight of spending time observing my beloved John-Paul at faire, let me add that time to all of the 2000 faires as well...and KCRF in 1999. Wow, I'm tired. Let me rephrase that. In all of the time that I've spent with John-Paul at faire, I have observed quite a few things. Let me tell you a bit.

Allow me to start this off by letting the masses know that in real life, Lindsy and Allen are boyfriend and girlfriend (for almost 2 years now) just like Willa and John-Paul are "together". We're not married...we're not engaged (but I'm trying my hardest!), but we're a very faithful couple. He's the best man I've ever met and I intend to keep him around for as long as he'll let me.

With that said, let's move right along.

The Two Things Willa Hates Most About Being With John-Paul

1. The girls who are afraid to flirt with him.
2. The girls who take his flirtatious nature seriously.

Number one has been a recent thing. It seems that there are women out there that I give a "bitch vibe" to, and I just don't realize it. For goodness sake, JP is a very harmless man (albeit a touchy feely harmless man). The girls with whom he flirts are fine by me. I'd really rather he flirt with people I know so that I know that the #2 thing won't happen!

I am a flirtatious person by nature, and when I "get my Willa on", I'm all the moreso. JP is the exact same way. We have a rule at our house: no flirting without the floppy. You can remind JP of that if you ever see him without his hat...

So, if he starts to flirt with you and you don't like it, tell him to go find another wench. If you like it too much, walk away and go get some ice water or something. If you fear my wrath, God's teeth, talk to me about it! Don't just stand there with a pathetic look on your face. I make it a practice not to get into cat fights...I'm really quite reasonable. Most of the time, anyway.

Can You Say Stalker?

On to number 2. These are the girls who really REALLY annoy me. JP is an equal-opportunity flirt, as am I. We like to make all people feel attractive and swoony at one point or another. However, JP seems to have a radar on him that sends him directly to someone who doesn't know how to play along. More than once he's flirted with someone and then they get all flustered and I have to deal with this constantly-swoony girl who suddenly has her sights set on my man.

Honestly and truly, the only thing that you could ever really do to forever get on my bad side is to try and get between myself and John-Paul. There are those out there who have and they should fear my wrath. But oddly, it never works that way.

Oh, the stories I could tell...but I don't want to do that. I just have a great desire to someday go through a faire season without external drama. But I know that will never happen. So I'll just enjoy what I have.

Moral of the story: Don't try and take my beloved and we'll get along just fine.

Thanks, But Who Are You?

That brings me to another subject I want to quickly talk about. With the increase of visitors to our web site, I find more and more people at faire knowing me without me knowing them! While this does extremely good things to my fragile ego, I really do have a huge desire to know the people who read my ramblings. Please introduce yourself to me. I'm extremely approachable and I don't bite (unless you ask really nicely). I have never been nor will I ever be someone other than a faire addict. A perk for introducing yourself? I give really good hugs :)

Hrm...do you think I skipped around enough on this one? It's late, I'm exhausted and I just had this extreme desire to put all of this down in HTML. I'll likely edit it all tomorrow morning after I've had a good night's sleep.

But if I don't, I hope you enjoyed the rambling. This is normal for me ;)

Help keep us online. Book your travel here, or patronize some of these folke:

1. Des Moines Ren Faire (IA)
2. Iowa Ren Festival (IA)
3. Iowa-Minnesota Pirate Fest (IA)
4. Greater Quad Cities Ren Faire (IL)
5. Midlands Pirate Festival (NE)
6. Nebraska Ren Faire (NE)
7. Ren Faire at Sleepy Hollow (IA)

1. thescotsdragon.com
2. threegryphons.com

1. danzamystique.com
2. gypsycomedyshow.com
3. mydragonstories
4. phoenixswords.atthefaire.com
5. piratecomedyshow.com
6. queenbea.atthefaire.com
7. revelers.atthefaire.com
8. wenchville.com

1. anothercrappypodcast.com
2. atthefaire.com
3. crocolyle.atthefaire.com
4. perin.atthefaire.com
5. renbanner.net
6. renreporter.com
7. sirclisto.com

Host your site with ATF and be listed here! $50/year (and the publicity is free!)

Permanent festivals in our area: Kansas City Renaissance Festival, Bristol Renaissance Faire, Des Moines Renaissance Faire and Minnesota Renaissance Festival.
Other ATF sites: DisneyFans.com DMHauntedHouses.com