We'll be attending Jubilee next weekend and NOT performing! Look for us and make sure you say hello!

RENAISSANCE FAIRE OF THE MIDLANDS - HELD ON THE SURFACE OF THE SUN?
by Willa, ATF Staff Writer

Omaha is my hometown, so I was really quite excited about finally becoming a performer at it (other than being a part of an English encampment). I knew that this festival was really different from the others we normally attend. It's a smallish faire that tries to be big. Kind of reminds me a Chihuahua. It wants to bully the other dogs like a Rottweiler, but it's still just this dinky, bald, glorified rat, so it has some issues.

We arrived on Friday evening, just as the festival was beginning. The Washer Well Wenches weren't scheduled to perform until the next day, but we wanted to get settled into the dorms and have some time to show my best friend (who was visiting us from Georgia) my old stomping grounds in the Old Market.

JP decided that we should walk through the festival ahead of time to get some footing on how things were laid out now that they changed the spot for the main entrance. Egads! Talk about a poor choice, in my opinion! The castle is now about a zillion miles from the actual festival, and they hold the joust right down the massively steep hill from the gates. I never was able to get back over there to see the joust, and I wonder how the location changed the attendance. I completely forgot it was even there!

Besides that, things were rather nice. The merchants were nicely placed and we got to see quite a few of our friends as well as an assortment of new people. We walked through in our danes and everyone kind of looked at us twice before they realized it was us (yes, I know...cover the wench's boobs and no one recognizes her...).

After a very comfy night in the dorms, we walked all the way across the parking lot (that's being fascicious...it was all of about 20 steps from the dorms to the back gate) with our props and started the day. The festival opened at 11am and our first show was at 2pm, so we looked around and found our stages and all that good stuff.

Here's where I'm going to get general about our shows because I'm sure everyone's sick of hearing about it already. RFotM is touted to be this corporate-run event that is very strict and professional and all that. Well, on Saturday, the signs that announced our showtimes were misspelled two out of three times. Twice we were the "Washer Well Winches". Now, I don't know about you, but I don't see any truck pulling in our shows. On Sunday, our last performances was listed on the stage sign as "Well Washer Wenches". It's nice to let our fans know that we're not sick, but that's just taking it a bit far, don'tcha think? We also noticed that one of the Dregs of Dublin's signs was misspelled and they became the "Dergs of Dublin". Is this professional?

I didn't mind much that we had to thank the stage sponsors at the beginning and end of each performance, but I did mind that on Saturday they put our middle show WAY BACK (read that as on the opposite side of the fairegrounds) in the children's area. We're not bawdy or anything...I mean, we're family entertainment, but I was completely unprepared for the fact that 80% of our audience were under 5. It's kinda scary that we were allowed to warp the kids like that ;)

I only have a few more beefs with RFotM. We were paid a piddly amount to be there (and I hear everyone basically was) and NO ONE tipped. But after hearing that admission was $12 per person, I didn't blame anyone for not shelling out more money. Especially if you also consider that a lemonade was $4.

That brings me to another complaint. We did a lot of yelling. On the stage we did the majority of our performances on, there were four very loud things going on directly around us. Right on the other side of the walkway from our stage was the "Drench the Wench" game which was EXTREMELY loud and right in front of us was the booth that dropped weights onto medals to make them into necklaces and at the same time as each of our performances there was also a dance troupe who had jingle bells on their calves and a funky umm...medieval saxophone player? Either way, the majority of the time was spent with none of us being able to hear one another even though we were standing right next to each other. I can only imagine the show the audience got to see.

And what do you need when you yell a lot and it's hot outside? Stuff to drink. There was no liquid refreshment anywhere for performers. We had to buy the $2 bottles of water and the $4 lemonades right with everyone else. And then we had to drink those drinks out in the sun. Because there was no shade! This is why I believe we were actually performing on the surface of the sun. The huge stage where the big acts played was completely devoid of any type of shade. We baked as we watched the Jolly Rogers and SAK Theater. At least on the smaller stages, we were sometimes able to move benches so that the crowds could sit in the shade.

Oh darn...I've gone off on a tangent, haven't I? I told myself not to do that.

Okay, let me try and make up for it by mentioning a few good things. Umm...let me think. Oh! The Jolly Rogers were there and I got to ride in the dorm elevator with Kurt (he's a very nice guy) and I got to buy their double CD, which I am right now at this very moment listening to. And I got to see the Orckes & Trolles sing as they, too, baked (and we got their new CD which I HIGHLY recommend to everyone...especially that last song. It's a doozy!).

My family (parents, grandparents, siblings and cousin) came out on Sunday to see us, but they had to leave because it just was SO hot. They did get to see two shows and said nice things and had as much fun as one can have while internally cooking.

Oh! Another good thing. Bless the people who were selling that water and pop for $2 a bottle! They let us performers walk by and dip our tankards into the buckets and scoop out ice and water. I do believe I melted about two bags worth of ice on my chest on Sunday alone. Mmmmmmmmm...

Our huge thanks to Larisa for being a good groupie and helping us tote our props to our various stages, and thank you to Fresh Meat #2 (you know who you are, Tim) for being such a good wench prop and for hanging out with us after hours! And thank you to Doc & Company for being ever-so entertaining on stage and in the dorms, and thank you for not viciously rearranging our furniture. And I still think Melissa's dashingly handsome husband, Steve, needs to have the faire name of Shade. Because everyone loves Shade on a hot day.

All in all, it was a fun time, but I need to go take another nap and drink another Gatorade just to get back to the point I was at before the weekend started.

Special thanks to my JP for the choker and the roses. You know just how to make me happy :)

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