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MY TRIP TO THE NEWMAN REN FEST, OR HOW MADELINE ALMOST BECAME A PIRATE
by Jane Sexton (AKA Jessica Matthias), sword-wielding beauty from Renaissance Sword Theatre

Renaissance Festivals generally get everyone into a playacting mood. Even if you aren’t a rennie, you will probably still leave the faire with a gleam in your eye and visions of a new costume dancing in your head. However, sometimes the Faire has plans for you (and your eye) that you weren’t quite aware of. Our group of intrepid adventurers arrived in Wichita Kansas at the Newman University grounds shortly after opening of faire, around 12:15 PM, Sunday. When we first arrived, we quickly realized that parking was at a premium. When I had gone three years ago, there was parking in an open field. However, the University has grown into that field, and now it is buildings. So, we drove down a lane lined with cars for quite a while before we found space in front of a couple of houses. I hope the university warned the neighborhood about the traffic!

We exited our vehicles, slathered on the SPF 65, and walked the quarter mile into the faire. There was a tension in the air: the excitement of the first faire of the year, and the enjoyment of the smell of turkey legs. In addition, we had with us Mae Cameron, a faire virgin, and budding rennie. This was to be her first experience, and we hoped that it would be a good one! This particular faire is set up in such a way that you pay $5.00 for a button, which gets you into the faire both days. The faire is open on Friday, but it is for school kids only. We gave our hard-earned Lincoln’s to the workers, and they gave us our buttons. We placed them on our clothes, and off we were.

When you enter the faire, you first see the food vendors, and to your right is a large standing stage. This area is in a parking lot, so it is paved, and the wind blew quite strongly through. Astral Sea was there, with their wagon, and so were another vendor selling different types of headgear, from the early Middle Ages to the late renaissance. As we walked forward, we were able to see how the food vending worked. First, you had to buy a number of tickets from one booth, then you could spend the tickets on food and drink items. The tickets were a dollar apiece, but it took quite a few tickets for most of the food and drinks. For instance, the bottles of soda were 2 tickets apiece. Also, this means that for one item, you had to wait in at least two lines, and that you weren’t going to be receiving any change in return. If you bought three tickets, and only bought one soda, you couldn’t receive a refund on the unused ticket. At the same time, though, due to this practice they were able to set the price of all foods there and print them in the flier that you receive when you enter the faire.

As far as vendors go, there was an incredibly large selection for such a small faire! There were many clothes vendors, quite a few sword and knife vendors, and an entire section of free kid’s activities. A new vendor, which I hadn’t seen before, was a group from the local greenhouse. They were selling herbs that were used for either foodstuffs or as medicine in the Renaissance. They were able to tell me why all mine at home had died! I was also impressed by the interest in a vendor who was selling research into a person’s surname.

Any children that were to go to this faire were sure to have a good time due to the children’s realm. However, activities for the adults, other than shopping, were limited. I entered the faire, looking forward to seeing new musical acts new fighting groups, and comedians. However, at least as far as musical acts go, I was sorely disappointed. I don’t think I saw a single musician playing on the street, other than one gentleman with a drum, who was playing near the children’s realm.

The faire had four stages that I could find, and, unfortunately, they were poorly planned. I tried to watch the "Academe de Duello" at their stage, which was far off to the right rear. They were in a small corner, with a very small stage area. There were, perhaps, ten hay bales sat out for seats, but it was cramped, and I am sure that they felt cramped also. To the right of the "Academe" were the SCA. Now, I don’t know about you, but I am used to seeing the SCA in their full flavor: mass combat, knights running at one another, two or three fights at once. However, they were given a stage that’s size would be more suitable for a group of dancing fairies, not for an army! In addition to the stage size, the area in general was so small, that after they had the blacksmith set up, the royalty in their chairs, the education tent, and the vendor set up, there was not enough room to have hay bales or even room to stand!

This problem was not limited to the SCA dale, but was also evident at the "Heavy Metal" stage. I was looking forward to seeing them perform, as I was unable to at the Great Plains Renaissance Festival, where we had performed at the same times as them. So, when I heard the commotion of Knights beginning to battle, we hurried over to the area. Quickly, the same problem became evident. There was enough room for them to perform; however, there were neither hay bales nor any place to sit down. Excited people quickly surrounded the staging area, and apparently they were given a good show. Unfortunately, if you weren’t either in the first row or on someone’s shoulders, you weren’t going to see or hear it. I, sadly, was in the third row, and could only occasionally see the glint of sun on steel, be it sword or trash can . . . There were two wooden stages that hosted the likes of the singing executioners, the mime, and a comedian, his wife, and children. These stages were well laid-out, had plenty of seating, and really good shows.

Now, I am sure you are thinking to yourself "This is all well and good, but where do the pirates come into the picture?" Well, as we entered the faire, as I may have mentioned, the wind was whipping around, and if you heard it coming, you were the lucky one. It was stirring up clouds of dust, rocks and debris. Early into our day, before we had learned why cows always stand with their backs to the wind, Madeline took a pebble to the eye. O.K., maybe it wasn’t dime-sized, but this thing was huge!

Well, to make a long and terrible story short, it imbedded itself into her eye, right next to her cornea. The first-aid team at Newman University did an admirable job at trying to extract it, but eventually, she and Geordie had to pack up and go to the nearest minor med. Those of us who were left at the faire imagined Madeline in an eye-patch and giggled to ourselves, as we remembered an early Madeline whom, when she saw her first poofy shirt said "But . . . I don’t wanna be a pirate!"

All in all, it was a good faire, and I had a wonderful time. I would simply suggest that next year, they make sure to give their performers plenty of room to put on their show. After all, it doesn’t matter how good the show is if you can’t see the performer. And, just in case you were worried, Madeline is fine, she came through her ordeal with nothing but a healthy respect for her eyelashes and the debris they keep out of her eye. And Mae? I am confident that the lure of the faire has its hooks deep in her and we will all be seeing her at the faire!

Help keep us online. Book your travel here, or patronize some of these folke:

1. Des Moines Ren Faire (IA)
2. Iowa Ren Festival (IA)
3. Iowa-Minnesota Pirate Fest (IA)
4. Greater Quad Cities Ren Faire (IL)
5. Midlands Pirate Festival (NE)
6. Nebraska Ren Faire (NE)
7. Ren Faire at Sleepy Hollow (IA)

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2. threegryphons.com

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2. gypsycomedyshow.com
3. mydragonstories
4. phoenixswords.atthefaire.com
5. piratecomedyshow.com
6. queenbea.atthefaire.com
7. revelers.atthefaire.com
8. wenchville.com

1. anothercrappypodcast.com
2. atthefaire.com
3. crocolyle.atthefaire.com
4. perin.atthefaire.com
5. renbanner.net
6. renreporter.com
7. sirclisto.com

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Permanent festivals in our area: Kansas City Renaissance Festival, Bristol Renaissance Faire, Des Moines Renaissance Faire and Minnesota Renaissance Festival.
Other ATF sites: DisneyFans.com DMHauntedHouses.com