The Salisbury Renaissance Faire is held as a fundraiser for the Salisbury House, which is located in Des Moines, Iowa. The event is held every year at Water Works Park.

FEELS LIKE THE FIRST TIME — SALISBURY FAIRE
by Willa, ATF Staff Writer

I have been going to faire for 6 years now and have done just about everything. I was an historical reenactor for 3 years during which I never left the encampment and saw very few shows. I spent a year "just being there" if I got to go at all (divorces hinder faire-going enjoyment) and a year so far has been experienced as a roaming rose vendor. I have also been a web master for several faire businesses for over a year and have run this site since April of 2000. But Salisbury 2001 took me into a whole new level of faire-going fun. I became an official performer!

DISCLAIMER: All people mentioned in here will be referred to by their faire names so as not to burst that fairegoing bubble that we all love so dearly.

Let me backtrack here and start with Friday, which was Educational Day. Keirra and I were able to attend (and JP was even there for part of the day) and we had a really good time! We weren't scheduled to perform at all, so we just got to roam around and scope out the grounds. We taught the kids at the joust to chant, "Blood makes the grass grow, KILL KILL KILL!" and made them promise not to chant it at football games. I was also approached by a boy who asked how to get involved in working at faire and got to tell them that the first step is to really study their history. He asked if anyone ever did anything with African history and I was very proud to report to this boy that Othello from the joust was a Moor, and the boy's eyes just lit up and he ran for the jousting arena! A hero was instantly made!

Friday night was spent with my fellow wenches and John-Paul along with Sauboo and Rufus and Merlyn and the sour sugar candy lady and Josh Berg from the Mailer's Guild with his entourage. We all went to see A Knight's Tale and just had a BLAST! Even if it was a tad disturbing that you could hear Rufus's laugh above all else whenever there was a corpse on screen.

Saturday morning I woke to the nerves fluttering around in my stomach. The Washer Well Wenches's first performance was at 11:30am and everything that could go wrong did. So I just knew that the rest of the weekend would be great! During the first performance our washline collapsed (repeatedly) and lines were forgotten and all those good things...but people laughed! And even when they were supposed to! It was quite a rush, even if I was shaking horribly all the way through it and was somehow unable to make eye contact with anyone in the audience. Very odd thing to have happen to me, the one who can schmooze anyone at faire. Our second show was just amazing and after that everything went really smoothly. The tips were better than we were expecting and the crowds were great!

Two things that were our only real problems: We were NOT happy about having to move to different stages for each performance. We have to lug three baskets full of clothes, our sign and our well to each destination. Not a fun thing to do. And the other thing was that during our final performance, some guy's cell phone rang and he was sitting in the second row. He stood up, turned around and put his foot on the bench so all we could see was his butt and all the people in the rows behind him could see was his face yacking on the phone. He wasn't even trying to be quiet. So Keirra, in all her bitter-against-men glory stopped the show and walked over to him, made a fool out of him and shoo'd him off until his call was over. We got a lot of applause for that one!

Okay, I'm jumping ahead of myself as usual. Let's backtrack to Saturday night. A bunch of us (Minstrosity, one of the Orckes & Trolles, the Wenches and all of Shattock Schoole of Defence) ate dinner together at DeliDishes and had a blast. I wasn't ready for the evening to end, so I headed off with Shattock (oh it's a horrible fate to have to smoosh into the backseat of a minivan with the evil Godfrey) to Walmart and then to one of their members' basements where we spent the remainder of the night blowing up air mattresses and then listening to Jaspar thump them. Oh, and I also learned that if Gregor says, "I hope no one minds if I take off my shirt", you should be more adamant with the "YES!" (What do those tattoo things say anyway?) I discovered just how much I adore Ophelia (my foxy sister) and that Argyle has a sick and beautiful sense of humour (well, they all do). And I had no idea that my breasts have a force field around them that doesn't allow Robespierre near them with his hands...but it's a fun game anyway.

Sunday was spent having more fun trying to go from show to show with our stuff and selling favours and lances for Sir Roland of Hanlon-Lees Jousting Knights & Steeds (I'd sell anything for that man) before the jousts, and Sheila was even aproached by a little girl who gasped and said, "You're one of the Washer Well Wenches!" with huge, adoring eyes.

I saw people I hadn't seen in a long time and people I never wanted to see again and perfect strangers who came up to me and said, "You look just like you do on your web site!" Should I be working on my airbrushing skills?

We spent far too much money at The Scots Dragon (and put in an order for a cloak for myself and a new outfit that will cause quite a stir for JP). I bought a fox tail from J & L Trading and a castle for my sons from Imagine That and my favourite Larisa gave me a flask from The Potter's House!

And I got to see all of my favourite men: Godfrey (aka My Happy Place) and Robespierre and Argyle and Jaspar and Gregor and Kenneth (cheapskate that he is) and Sir Roland (my favourite Man-At-Arms with the GORGEOUS orange feathers) and Sir Giles of Gisbon (aka Jizzy) and Kelvin (whose faire name I cannot remember because it has changed) and Big Bald John from Skjaldborg who does such a nice job of calling me Red and making it sound so invitingly lewd. And we can't forget Godfrey. I know I said his name already, but he's my happy place and I thought he was important enough to mention twice.

Oh, and let me just say, "Hello drum guy!"

Of course I also got to see my favourite women again, too. We honed right in on Lovely Mary (Mrs. Jizzy) and I worship the ground Joanna (The Scots Dragon lady) walks on and there's the gorgeous proper lady who cannot have the wench taken out of her even if the pin has been removed. She's the one who planted the "Renaissance Porn" idea in my head, the rascally wench. Sunday brought the clouds but Larisa was wearing enough yellow to make everyone forget about that (I just can't get over how utterly beautiful she is. I'm afraid to touch her because I think she might break...even if Frenchie likes her better and all that rot). The Shattock ladies (Stephanie, I will get you a Kitty of Doom) made me feel completely at home, which is rare for women. Normally they just lock up their men and hiss at me from afar ;) And I promise you Ophelia that I shall have some A.S.B.'s made up for Waterloo. I also got to see Her Majesty Verity of Past Times in Good Company, who is the whole reason why I love faire as much as I do. She's the one who started it all for me, and I just finally got to tell her that this past spring. She's a beautiful woman inside and out.

Hmm...have I mentioned everything? It's impossible, so please don't be offended if I forgot you. Because I didn't forget. I just need a cranial rolodex.

But above all else, I knew it was a wonderful faire because, as usual, I fell in love with John-Paul all over again. That's when you know it went really well.

Thank you, one and all. See you June 3rd at Waterloo!

Help keep us online. Book your travel here, or patronize some of these folke:

1. Des Moines Ren Faire (IA)
2. Iowa Ren Festival (IA)
3. Iowa-Minnesota Pirate Fest (IA)
4. Greater Quad Cities Ren Faire (IL)
5. Midlands Pirate Festival (NE)
6. Nebraska Ren Faire (NE)
7. Ren Faire at Sleepy Hollow (IA)

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2. threegryphons.com

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Permanent festivals in our area: Kansas City Renaissance Festival, Bristol Renaissance Faire, Des Moines Renaissance Faire and Minnesota Renaissance Festival.
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